fred-carpenter

I found refuge in routine and survived

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:33:42 GMT

I am sure there will be books from authors on surviving a pandemic. But, when I look back to the year 2020, I did many routine things. Routines give us safety and make risk-averse a priority over a need to achieve at any cost. For those who are very driven, a pandemic lockdown can make them feel inadequate because of confinement. This, in turn, can give birth to destructive coping mechanisms. Before it is too late, talk to a coach who can help you to slow down without lowering your expectations.

Choosing what to think is a choice we make every day

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:32:52 GMT

When I prepare for a trip, I zealously guard my time as a scarce resource until the day I catch a flight out. The departure date is on post-it notes on a few places to remind me to hustle. Hopefully, the hustle helps me be selective about what to think, a behavior that will become a vital habit for someone like me who worries about the insignificant. Everyone worries, including pioneers, empire builders, and start-ups egos. Successful people choose to think about success. Choosing what to think is a choice we make every day. How about you? Do you have a coach as a thinking partner who can help you?

Surprises

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:31:53 GMT

Being afraid of surprises, we become risk-averse, and our response can be that of “I will give it some thought and get back to you.” Is this disengagement or trying to stay relevant? My guess is disengagement since there is no timeline attached, like in two weeks? The other possibility is to escape into our comfort zone until one is sure. But, even if you were to move forward with certain guarantees, life is full of surprises, and often we do not see it coming. Ideally, surprises should be handled rationally and not emotionally charged or faith-based. In case you forget, remember this drill when you go for a jog ” 1,2,3, 4,5 6, 7 all good rational thinkers go to heaven.” If rational, emotional, and faith-based are the shuffled deck, we do not know precisely if one of the three is better than the other two. On the other hand, if we have a growth mindset, surprises can throw challenges with growth potential. So, if you are ambitious, remember the three; however, stick to one that best works for you. No one has mastered the pecking order yet in the shuffled deck; however, having a coach has a fine-tune partner can bring much-needed clarity.

Nice guy with contentment is a bonus

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:30:05 GMT

When your friends call you a nice guy, does it mean you are a proper person of grace with good habits and excellent communication skills? Remember that in personal relationships, corroboration matters, and reviews matter in the internet world. Self-betterment is an investment and an ongoing journey that is driven by inner-outer love and not fear. For instance, to get over the fear of rejection, I sought out the campfire crowd( Clusters of friends or acquaintances) for external warmth. For example, I will time my coffee breaks at work to fit the cigarette break crowd. Fillers are costly with no end in sight. A coach as a thinking partner can help you stop your fillers and develop a better road map strategy for contentment.

Peace, reflection, and long after matters

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:29:15 GMT

People saw your talent and connected you with the know-how, do-how, and who is who exclusive club. You were known, praised, and admired as a deal maker, and you did not disappoint by pulling off superhero feats in the past at work. The jet-set often called you to take charge and bring your rockstar connections for a fundraiser for a cause. The whole Covid thing has forced many, including you in the money, status, and Influence world, to forego the chase for something more profound than a career. Sabbatical has opened your eyes to the power of patience, perseverance, and love, the hallmarks of great painters and Hymn writers. There is always room for a talent like you in the Post-Covid. Doors will open and shut; however, it will take deliberate action to be remembered long after, like the painters and the hymn writers. Start with a coach as your thinking partner, and build a team around you.

Ambition

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:28:26 GMT

If you are a go-getter, you would want normalcy in a snap; however, the daily mass-casualty numbers affect your life, and mentally, you are unprepared.

Most of us are now accustomed to stay-at-home orders and have spent a year staying inside trying to get a grip on the pandemic burnout. So, how should you redesign your jaw-dropping goals? Not many coaches will tell you that it is more productive to coach an ambitious person, ready to challenge a horse for a race, than someone with a contemplative mindset. No matter how outlandish your vision is, as a coach I want to hear your voice and make the conversation count.

Remember, we are hard-wired for connection, and your pursuit should not be a solo endeavor. A coach can help you have newfound hope that is clean energy and no less ambitious.

Why know your limits.

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:27:31 GMT

When you hear the phrase” The sky is not the limit”, if you are me, even 5000 feet away up there is impressive. I tied my hand on a glider flying at a flying club in Ontario.

My friend Les, an aircraft enthusiast, is a glider instructor pilot. Knowing my love of flying, he encouraged me to consider glider flying as a hobby. To keep a long story short, after being towed up to about 5000 feet twice, we came down somewhat quickly. Even though I have not given up on flying, I was not mentally prepared to manage my negative thoughts up there that flared up in the cockpit with the what-if questions. What did I learn? Two takeaways there, don’t allow your enthusiasm to outrun your maturity when you are untested.

To transition from a spectator to a player requires mental toughness, not feel-good boldness. A coach as a thinking partner can help you in the transition.

Life outside of the noise

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:26:29 GMT

If my boss walked up to me and gave me a gift in the form of a few days off to escape and experience solitude, silence, and privacy, another name for essential heart-mind-joyful well-being maintenance. I will start by sipping coffee seated on a decaying tree log among dandelions weeds in a yard alone. At the yard, my attitude is childlike when I look up, the blue sky is an eye that has noticed me, and I am an astronaut now searching for a spot way up there. I love these simple treats in the emptiness of time to manage better, even when we can not eliminate the noise. The noisy side of social media is toxic and growing exponentially. We mistake childlike in adults for childishness because of automation in our thinking; however, the beauty of childlike attitude in adults is a fully developed version of uncorrupt proof of innocence longing to give and receive love.

Rounding the bases like in baseball

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:25:41 GMT

When you were growing up, did you ace anything? One day one of my siblings called me and gave me a piece of unsolicited advice, and that is for me to be good in one of three he had in mind.

1) Be outstanding in your studies.

2) Be a party animal.

3) Excel in sports.

Being the youngest of five siblings, I am well versed in the world of “unwanted” advice to hand me downs! I don’t know my brother’s rationale behind his three choices. Ideally, if you are natural or gifted at something, your parents will initially identify that gift as the 1st base, then your teachers at school as the 2nd base, and of course, your buddies will notice it too as the 3rd base. As a late bloomer, you knew all along that you were talented; however, you missed out on parents identifying your gifts; the teachers encouraged you, and your buddies noticed it. Are you a late bloomer? Work with a coach to maximize your potential. “Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure”.

Optimism can be a tussle between possibility and distortion

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:24:49 GMT

I have worked in sales, and sitting next to an eternal optimist colleague can be challenging because; we have our chit-chat in between our sales calls, and invariably, he will talk about having a big sales close with a prospect any day. The days became weeks, but unfortunately, no big sales closed, and I did not see him at work for some time, so; I called to find out if things were okay? He was traveling to South East Asia as an English teacher. He had given up on sales. Did his optimism turn to distortion? I think so because he had the swagger to go with the big sales talk. If I had a choice, I would want Peter Falk of Columbo TV series fame to take my former colleague’s place at work. Why? Peter, would likely be more of a mentor with his catchphrase, “Just one more thing, “and his unassuming demeanor speak volumes of a man who would not cut and run to Asia.

The space of nothingness

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:23:53 GMT

When I wake up in the mornings, I make myself two cups of coffee. One for gulping and the other to sip until it gets too cold to finish. This is not a lifestyle trend, a simple pleasure I enjoy at my place of abode. Lately, I have started my must-haves to experience “the space of nothingness.” Start with a goal to sit under a tall lush tree( choice between going to Starbucks or finding a tree or both). If I have time for Starbucks, then I should have time for a tree. Hearing the birds chirping around, I think they are happy to see humans shackles free from Covid lockdowns. Who knows, one day, if opportunity permits, I will have my little tree deck to live out the space of nothingness regularly. Slowing down is essential in the world of hurry and worry. Covid variants are not sparing any, and your travel plans or nature excursions are put on hold. Tall lush trees are premium for downtown dwellers. You may not find them in your neighborhood; however, parks are a good substitute. With coffee in hand, seated on the ground almost in a lotus position, relax, and let your shoulders drop, and sip the drink for a start. Give it a try; small changes, big difference.

Mad Max

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:22:42 GMT

When Mad Max 1 came out many moons ago, as a kid, I was excited at the black beauty Mel Gibson was driving. It looked like a West coast custom build. But, honestly, I was disappointed with the rest of the max movies. They came across as the Burning Man festival on steroids. Regardless, when you see offbeat films or the festivals like Burning Man attracting followers and attendees, Is it a sign of embracing a form of detox from the Apps world? Does the litter of Apps on your mobile make you giddy? During the lockdown, I used to walk the supermarket aisle to see people for my screen-free time. Unfortunately, Covid has made some conversions easier. Everywhere you go, people are looking at their screens, even at home. As rules are relaxed, invite friends to a particular restaurant or a cafe to sample test some of their offerings while you get your screen free face time. Who knows, the subsequent lockdown is around the corner.

Dear, Mr. Good Samaritan

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:20:54 GMT

By now, if you did not know, you are a brand name apart from the scriptures. I hope to have a conversation with you on my imaginary bucket list because some dudes who walk the corridors of power do good to feel better for the day, a week, etc., in a disaster-prone world. I am sure you are not that type; however, I do not know you well enough to hear you out personally and pat you on your shoulder to say thank you! Regardless, here is my piece. We all have an unintentional healer mentality that jumps out of our skin to help the wounded or the abused. So we are not doing a deep dive to analyze, except a little get your feet wet, to see if Mr.Good Samaritan treated the injured as an equal at the grassroots level? Three areas that might work as a qualifier; 1) He showed respect( value life) by stopping to help. 2)He showed care by paying for his recovery at the Inn. 3) He spoke on behalf of the injured at the Inn so that they could keep him until recovery, and not to forget that he walked the talk by paying off some bills. Oh, by the way, the Inn did not give Mr. Good Samaritan a promotional tote bag. There is plenty of cover for equality in the social cause space now; however, personally, Sir, the signs of being treated equally at the grassroots level are respect, care, and speaking up for the voiceless.

Acquired; however, not achieved

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:19:51 GMT

Chatting with candidates for an open executive position. I have heard, “I have acquired; however, not achieved.” Often related to work, rank, and pay. Remember that we may not have control over our profession; however, we certainly can with our perspectives on life. I would first work on achieving and acquiring pecking orders for my mental state. Why? Achieving my joy and peace has been many years of refocusing, going deep, and decluttering. Once you start seeing the results, you think your mental state has taste buds. Because the joy and peace are so complete, you will protect it like a scarce resource. Afterward, acquiring trophies with a three or five-year plan should be a breeze.

Favor-O’Meter

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:18:43 GMT

Remember that yes and no are short words that require long thoughts when evaluating favours.

Besides being born a nice guy, how do you say noooooooooo to the constant flow of requests that are only flowing in your direction? My yes to favour is similar to my clothes. Am I comfortable in it, and does it fit me? Comfortable and fit are necessary to establish boundaries.

Some in particular family situations practice "to get along, i do go along favours." But, again, a coach can be a good thinking partner in such situations.

My Self Confidence

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:17:15 GMT

I have a love-hate relationship with wearable technology. I am talking about a data-driven product similar to Fitbit. The question is, can customizable health tracking lead to a healthy reset of your self-confidence? Unfortunately, I do not know because I do not wear one. When my self-confidence is dropping, I stop everything and read. Read about a barefoot runner and Olympic champion, Abebe Bikila( Gold Medalist 1960 and 1964).

If he were still living, I would have coffee with him and ask Abebe to take me to the Ethiopean backcountry trail, where he ran barefoot for years before becoming a champion. Playing this out in my mind tells me that I have to network with minimalists and self-starters. I am not saying for you to let go of the wearables. However, sometimes our self-confidence needs a different look and take.